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Posts tagged tantra
Do You Even Do Sacred Sex, Bro?!

Men.

I LOOOOOOOOOOVE MEN. I love their Bromances, their constant brutal pranking of one another, the way most of them enjoy being infantilized, even their simplistic understanding of sex; 'if I make my penis feel good, then I will cum'. I have spent my entire life essentially studying and trying to understand the behavior of Men. 

Much of this drive comes from being hurt by Men throughout my life; I'm trying to understand why they did it. Men are responsible for most of my sexual, physical, psycho/emotional abuse and anguish and as a result I have an inherent fear of men. They are also the only species to ever make me feel safe; no woman, animal, or tree in nature has ever made me feel as secure and safe as the special and very significant Men in my life. They are each fascinating, puzzling, endearing and somewhat terrifying; a fun little dichotomy. Finding and keeping My Men was difficult because almost all Men have poor modeling or support on how to be a "Good" Man or even what that means.

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Oh NO! My Fortress of Emotional Solitude. Whyyyyyyyyyyy!: REPOST

So, I've been home for a couple of days now.  I have mostly spent my time gushing (figuratively and literally ☺️) over what an amazing soul reintegrating experience my time in San Diego was.  The rest of the time has been spent dealing with "Jetlag" which is apparently my body struggling to adjust to time travel.  Oh Marty McFly, you make it look so easy; perhaps I should've worn a vest while I was flying to insulate my organs from the space-time continuum rip. I'm tired, really tired; physically I feel as though I have the flu, mentally I feel fried like I've been cramming for a final exam, emotionally .   .   . I am melting.  Every time I wax poetic about my week-ish in Tantra-ville, the real artistic beauty that is Tantra just flows from my mouth. Info that I didn't even realize I took in or that it resonated with me until it fell from my tongue with grace and beauty. Philosophy that sounds both beautiful and destructive; too good to be true.

The simplicity, that is Tantra's ultimate goal, has yet to be achieved.  It first is busy at work playing Jenga with this really amazing Fortress of Emotional Solitude that I built for myself.  It started small, my Fortress but,

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My Meditation Moment - REPOST

I was told by my Teacher to reach out if I needed something; if I felt under siege. I don't know that I need anything in particular other than to get this next emotional riptide completed. My body has been under attack since I returned home, jet lag, morning sickness, a severe cold. I haven't had the energy to do much but, I have managed to meditate sporadically. My Meditation moments do not look like the ones I see out in the world, whether on t.v. or in yoga class, no. Mine involve cataclysm, a break in the noise, that causes all that's inside me to just flow forth without my permission. All I can do is be there in it, it takes me to such depths; the silence is intoxicating. And the longer I sit and listen, the more I hear the absurdity of the things I tell myself; then I remember to really listen.

Meditation is not for pussies;

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